Love What You Do, Primarily After 5

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Somewhat famously Steve Jobs told the Stanford class of 2005, "Love what you do." Well, he said those words, but they were tempered elsewhere in his speech by his concern that your life focus on finding what is important to you, with some mention of connections (i.e., family, however you might define that). To be fair to all the folks who have quoted the disambiguation of his words, repeating the mantra, "Do what you love and love what you do," Jobs did lean pretty hard into the joy of a career that enables you to toil away at something you enjoy since you will be there so much of your life. Point taken.

Some have critiqued Jobs for a couple of points. First, Jobs has been critiqued for giving sort of simplistic advice about the nature of life and work. Second, it has been pointed out that Jobs speaks from a place of privilege that ignores some people do not have the luxury to pursue their passion rather need to put food on the table. There's that, and I agree with both, veering strongly toward the latter critique.

To Jobs's argument (not merely a few words nestled in a speech), I want to keep some balance in the conversation. I want to interject the idea that maybe you do what you love, just nothing for which you receive a paycheck.

I spent a number of years in graduate school specifically to have the job I have now. In fact, the job I have meets the job description I once said would be my ideal, so I have to admit I am sitting fairly pretty when it comes to talking about doing what you love at work. Indeed, at my job there are things that I want to accomplish for my pleasure in achieving them. If I ever finish and have published the book I'm working on, I expect Ill feel pretty good about that; I do not expect it to be the highlight of my life, though. For me, the time with my partner and child gets the lion's share in the highlights reel of my life. This is not me promoting the life of marriage and children as chief among all; rather I mean that I believe our connections with each other and family, broadly defined, matter most.

We workers get a lot of messages about being happy in the workplace or advice on how to feel fulfilled in our jobs. I think that's nice; if you can enjoy the time you spend earning the money to live your life, that's really pleasant. What worries me, however, is the concealed message to commit yourself to your job when, let's face it, the job's commitment to you might be lower. As I told a friend, who hated to inconvenience coworkers by taking (federally protected) time off for the birth of his child, "your boss is a swell guy (I know him), but he probably won't be bringing you soup in your dotage." My supervisor has been supportive of me juggling job and family, but I'm still expected to deliver at work, totally fair. Even still, the call to find fulfillment at work has some problems for me.

Interlude: Oliver and Arnold

Two men I knew, Arnold and Oliver, are an interesting bookend set of how to approach work in your life. Arnold is accomplished in his field, not a giant but respected; he also worked hard to be intimately involved in the lives of his partner and children. As his career grew longer he slowed down to be there more with his family whose needs changed with time. Arnold's employer wanted him to meet increased performance benchmarks or he would lose status (not his job, mind you). Nearing retirement, Arnold allowed himself to lose the touches of status and continued to do good work, with his employer asking him to delay retirement for a year or two. When Arnold retired, his life got better. He smiled more and walked lighter. Arnold chuckled when asked how he liked retirement.

Oliver and Arnold worked in the same field; they even had a collaboration once. Oliver was a bit of a giant in his field. His list of professional accomplishments go on for a while, varied and numerous. Oliver's retirement seemed to be a little harder on him, though. Oliver loved his job but always had a little less time for his family than Arnold. From my limited vantage point, he wandered in retirement. I remember being with one of his children, a friend of mine, when someone who knew Oliver professionally passed by and asked about him. "He's having some health issues," my friend answered. "I'm sorry to hear that. Give him my best," said the concerned but busy friend who swiftly walked away. My friend said that scenario happened all the time; people who worked with Oliver were sad to hear about his decline but never bothered to so much as pick up the phone and chat.

Back to My Point

Theodore Gradman, in a chapter of the book Older Men's Lives, writes about men and retirement. He finds that men in white-collar professions have a harder time transitioning to retirement than men in blue-collar professions. Why? He argues that men in white-collars job have more of their personal identity tied to what the do at work, and he finds the opposite for men in blue-collar jobs. So there's that.

In their jobs some people will make meaningful contributions that will live well beyond their time on this planet. Some people have the talent I lack to work tirelessly at their jobs and still remain active, important members of their family, be it a conventional scenario or a ring of close friends. Some people will find their ultimate joy and fulfillment in work. I respect that. Let me offer an alternative, though, for some of us others.

What if we freed ourselves to approach our jobs as something that pays the bills so we can get home to what we love, which might be a child, a dog, or a rugby team? What if we said that we do what we love and love what we do after 5 PM. I become angry when I hear about people in jobs where they are treated unfairly or abused in terms of salary or job risks, so I'm not saying all jobs are equally good.

I am saying that the seduction to find fulfillment at our jobs may not work for some of us; the unglamorous gig that pays the bills and helps you prepare for retirement has a lot to say for itself. Useless coworkers are the worst, and I have committed to avoid being one of them. I also decided a while ago that even as I pursue certain work-oriented goals, if I fail or if I succeed, if I'm given a plaque or just given a paycheck, I need to love what I do outside of work, and that is what is most important for me. My goal is to love what I do and do what I love irrespective of my career, but I do hope to enjoy what I do at a desk as much as I can. Let me job merely be the icing to the proverbial cake of my life.